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Diary enjoyed the internal quiz circulating the offices of the Association of University Teachers this week: guess which of the following pay-docking scenarios is made up. Answers on a postcard to the AUT.

(1) Failure to invigilate at an exam - 0.5 per cent of a day's pay docked per exam

(2) Failure to hand in marks for an assessment - pay deduction per piece of coursework (calculated based on 15 minutes for each student whose script/coursework has not been marked and 30 minutes for each project not marked)

(3) Should a student's suit against the university be attributable to strike action, the university will institute legal action against individual staff and seek to recover damage