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Liverpool John Moores University staff footballers behav- ed a little more sedately when they played a new flock of Malaysian graduates of their university in Kuala Lumpur last week. But staff will have been disappointed that their great vice chancellor, Peter Toyne, did not take part. Professor Toyne, said a spokesperson, "is not a great footballer".

Even if he was watching the match, some have speculated that he would not have known what was going on. Without him the staff, of course, lost to the Malaysians 7-0.