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Dundee University's vice principal, David Swinfen, recently writing a column in the staff newsletter in the absence of principal Ian Graham-Bryce, dreamed of revolution and a university Jaguar car for his exclusive use.

Dr Graham-Bryce has now returned from his Natural Environmental Research Council duties to reclaim his column, in which he reveals that Professor Swinfen has "departed for an extended mission to recruit overseas students in Ulan Bator''. He also complains that he has had to struggle through three large baskets of documents assembled by Professor Swinfen, labelled "too dull", "too delicate" and "too difficult".