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Positively the last word on the burst-pipe floods that wreaked havoc throughout Glaswegian higher education institutions following Siberian temperatures at New Year.

Glasgow University's building superintendent Tom Young was called out to examine flooding in the basement of the Boyd Orr building. Inspecting the basement by torchlight, he was confronted with a body floating in a pool of water. A prime candidate for cardiac arrest, he none the less approached the body - and discovered that it was a full-sized doll used for first aid training.